So ladies and gentlemen. With the some umpteen different ways that you can identify. Your gender whether you be gender-neutral or you be pansexual. Or you be asexual? Or homosexual Or heterosexual Or as some would put it. Identifying as an attack helicopter
It is no surprise to me. That as I Traverse as a businessman as I sell parts to enthusiasts all over the world. And I would meet men and women that absolutely love their automobiles. I do believe that the best way to describe them is in their own words. Their vehicle Is there second love? They may be an automobile polygamist such as Jay Leno who has quite the plethora.
Of classic customs and pretty much waves of the future. You know you have skinny ones fat ones tall ones. Yeah people that are into their tractors. Yeah people that are into their two-wheelers, you know. Depending on what your flavor is. You can look at them as being the supermodels. Or the absolute cougars of the automobile world.
Now you’ve heard people talk in the past and you’ve heard in songs even more people are identifying that if they could they would marry their automobile. With what they spend in maintenance what they spend in cosmetics what they spend in hours pampering. And modifying And keeping up with appearances. And showing off as a trophy. That’s much like a human being. And let’s face it, you know when a car comes to the end of its life. It’s much like a human being when it dies. It dumps. All of its fluids. It shits itself quite literally. And there is in a sense a morning phase a funeral in some regards either. There is some type of a Divine resurrection that does occur. Or there is a Funeral that takes place and of course the ultimate Hearse ending for said car where it is either towed or trailer to the scrap yard. And much like cremation Is ripped apart. And meets a fiery death where it returns to the Earth from whence it came. It is with this that I’ve had my own form of Revelation. Now you can’t marry an object yet. I’m sure there’s going to come a point in our lives where the robots. As of now, you know, people are trying to fornicate with robots. I’m sure there’s going to become a day of great atrocity. For many We’re in yes. Someone is going to propose marriage to artificial intelligence. Now Just says we’ve had civil unions in the gay rights movement. Just as we have had civil unions amongst people who practice religions where one doesn’t actually marry one doesn’t actually fornicate. In certain regards one doesn’t actually live with the other person.
Why can’t the enthusiasts. Declare and profess their love and affection for their automobiles. In such a way that just propellants that enthusiasm
After all, like I said the the act of ownership. The act of being is much like a relationship. The love is one where if the Love Runs Out The effort is lost. And Things get in a sense. Let go. To the point where there is physical depression scene between of course the Enthusiast and there’s physical depression seen in the vehicle and the form of not washing it letting the interior go to waste wearing out lack of Maintenance that oil. Perhaps even just abuse of the mechanics much like substance abuse. Someone could shove some type of a Nitrous system on a vehicle that quite honestly can’t handle it. Kind of a Assisted suicide situation now that is a bold thing to say and I’m sure that’s going to offend a lot of people but in the sense of an automobile, yes, you can look at it and enthusiasts will tell you. If one is on it. Out They’ll just freaking send it. Go put it on video and that will be the freaking eulogy. Now where I’m getting at with this. Is today I had a revelation.
I had a split decision. In the bathroom, while I was sitting on the can. I was pondering life a little bit and I was traversing the internet… In typical business fashions I looking at a potential buy that I was going to make for the business. I got bored and I decided to take a stroll on over to the Universal Life Church Ministries website. And then in the process of doing so Something spoke to me and said Go ahead and get yourself ordained dangerous.
So the ordination occurred It’s very simple process. You know, when I think about it all the people that have had it done all the Trailblazers of the world Here I am adding myself to and I’m already internationally-known. I’m already getting kicked out of countries for botched for a kid.
I’m already getting kicked out of a country’s for botched exhibition. I’m already in a situation where people are looking down upon me and saying that I’m exploiting people because I’m looking for the ultimate exhibitionist side. Kick. I I want the Doctor Jones experience.
So why not give back? Why not give Some time and effort into giving something back to the people something that they want now we can’t marry you. To your vehicle But as a now ordained minister. I can offer you. The opportunity to join in civil union As an auto sexual That’s right folks an auto sexual. Your passion, Your desire your want and your need.
I can establish it for you. I can put it on paper. Sure. You already have it on paper your title to your vehicle. Is your civil union between the Tax Commission? And that vehicle. But why not something a little more personable?
Now as a reverend of the Universal Life Church Ministries I will perform a civil marriage. With you and your automobile your motorcycle your ATV your semi truck. Your jet ski Your moped Anything That is motorized that you have a passion for. I will confer this upon you. Give you. That acknowledgement and that love that you have for that vehicle.
I willbdocument it and we will place it on a website. Public domain like most marriages are and most unions are If you still choose to divorce. You can freely in line with the thread. Declare that you are no longer interested in this party. If you so desire to take on more than one love. You can declare your affiliation with that other piece of machinery.
And you can show that you are indeed capable. Of handling a multi-tiered auto sexual relationship
We can show your passion and your desire that when times get tough for that set automobile. When that automobile maybe week. That you will have it that you will love it and cherish it and you will do everything including bust your knuckles doing everything in your power to make that Automotive machine stronger in itself.. More power.. More love!
Now ministers usually are the type of individuals that are charitable. So within a few minutes after flushing the toilet It was one of those situations. Where a Google search. Of the universal Universal Life Church Ministry Had also presented a church out of Tallahassee, Florida Now this church is very much a universal church in its own, right.
You can get ordained , and you also have the opportunity to receive an honorary doctorate. Now the fact of the matter is it’s one of these things where in order to receive this doctorate one must feel self-proclaimed worthiness. One must have done.something great! And of course one must have some form of bankroll. And of course in this sense, the bankroll is used to well. I’m not quite sure what the money is used for. But I’m assuming that it has something to do with the spiritual upbringing of this church… So one small donation one legit reward! I assume that these people feel a lot like I do there is no identifying leadership on this website. It is an incorporated business, but it has essentially one page. And on that one page man, I tell you what I felt… I felt it was tottaly legit as hell
They talked about acceptance of everyone and that anybody is welcome through their doors. Who have love in their hearts? That anyone With the desire and the need to be involved, Is welcome. Now how good is that? That’s the mission statement. You just want to be there you want to take up space? That’s cool. So anyway An undisclosed amount A Bitcoin Was sent to this group. To which at that point in time, I received an email from a group out of the Spain. It was a jewelry shop. Actually, I’m assuming that this jewelry shopp makes the ornate apparel and of course the the jewels and badges of Office of the Ministers of this church, that is important. It’s always good to have relics of sort. So I would assume that that’s what it is. Now the gentleman who I spoke to his name was like “Hans friends-man”…something like that… FranzDen I don’t know. I don’t speak German.
But at any rate he did Asher me. Through showing me that there was a 501 c 3 organization actually enacted and that the church was incorporated in the states. Of course a simple dredge in Google search said that yes, you know on on that end of the thing. It was not a diploma mill
But then in two to four weeks, I would actually be receiving my honorary doctorate. In the mail But at this point in time I could actually begin. Utilizing the rights lights and benefits of Said honorary doctorate in the United States because of course, you know titles are everything. And they gave me this doctorates, of course in mechanics.
So you see The ministry is already blessing people, Like a TV Minister, it’s myself in particular. I mean those guys seem legitimate.. So my titles should goto good use. Let’s see where this goes. I think we’ll have fun…. Err do good.with it.
And after all it’s nothing personal, it’s just business.